A couple of nights ago, I dreamt of a Utopia and I was disturbed.
It was a beautiful place, in a remote place – it kept changing from a desert to a forest to a rain forest to Tundra but in every case, it was beautiful.
In the middle of this forest was a small city with a housing project (public housing for those of you who don’t live in cities). The city itself was spotless. The streets were pretty much empty and no cars were nearby even though I came into the city near a gas station. (Must have been pissed off at the $3.12 per gallon I paid earlier that day.)
Anyway, I began to feel uneasy because there wasn’t anyone around. I went into the store attached to the gas station. It turned out to be a dingy place but there were people in the store. They almost glowed but at the same time there seemed to be something dark about them. They were all races and mostly kids in the store and they were singing.
They were singing like the kids used to do when I was a kid; “doo-wop” and they were really very good.
I found, talking with the kids, that the city was always calm. No one was in a rush for anything but everything got done. There wasn’t any graffiti anywhere and they didn’t even know what “graffiti” was. It seems that there was no dissention anywhere within the city.
They had no idea that there was anything at all outside of their city much less a forest or tundra or desert. They thought they were the “only ones” and although I was a stranger, “it was a big city” and they couldn’t know everyone. But, they weren’t afraid of me either.
There was going to be a yearly competition and the kids were preparing to sing in the competition. It seemed that people competed by doing whatever they did best. Even cooking was permitted in this competition. It was more of a showcase than a real competition because no one lost.
This all sounded great to me but there was something really bothering me. I kept going throughout the city, public transport was free and so was everything else, but I kept getting more and more disturbed.
My phone rang and woke me but the dream stayed with me for days and I kept mulling around in my head about the problem of being disturbed because, even awake, I felt uneasy.
Then I realized what my problem was.
I would love to see everyone on earth fed and with “enough” and have it all be accessible to all but I know that no one sees the same color red nor the same hue of blue. It’s impossible. We agree on stuff, that red is red, but who knows if the red I find pleasing is the red you like. We’ll never know.
I think that I was upset because in that Utopia, I lost all identity. It seems that in that once per year that they had the competition, and they were excited about it, that it was the only time they were allowed, or allowed themselves, to appear different from each other and to express themselves as they wished. It was very hard for them to do and very scary for them.
I can see that it would not only be impossible for us to become a world Utopia, but it would be scary too. I wouldn’t want to give up my individualness. I wouldn’t want to give up the way that I worship which is unique to me as is the color red that I see.
Have a hug filled day,